Melt down…

Posted on July 11, 2015

This morning started out well. My brother and my Mom and I sat and made fondant roses for a while.

Two of my nephews are getting married soon and have asked my talented Mom to make their wedding cakes. She has made many and is so amazing at creating beautiful flowers out of fondant. Hard to believe these are edible!

As the day went on, Jude sent me a couple photographs of meals she had prepared.  She’s so sweet and is doing such a beautiful job at holding down the fort on Tanda Malaika.

Aidan decided that they should have cucumber, honey and mustard sandwiches for lunch.  Jude said is was rather strange but not too bad.

For dinner she made the kids another delicious meal. It’s good to know they are eating well!

Before we left for Panama, the creatures got together and recreated a photograph that I had taken of them many years ago, not too long after we adopted Jonathan.  I came across it tonight and it made me smile.

Notice how Emma is just a little big for Kjira’s lap at this point!

A couple of my dearest friends came to visit today – one that I hadn’t seen in 30 years and other, is one that has been an anchor in my life for several years now. It was so good to see them both. About an hour before they came, I had been trying to call Danny and was so frustrated because we just couldn’t get through to each other, and I had been feeling down because I’d allowed myself to throw a pity party so I really just needed to hear his voice.  I ended up having a bit of a meltdown.  Ever feel like you are so sad and overwhelmed and just have to have a darn good cry? Every negative thing became magnified in my head and a feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed me. Poor Danny was once again reassured that I am in fact psycho, and I finally emerged to greet my friends and cried some more. It was pathetic. Later this evening I was walking to my room and experienced one of my syncope episodes.  I woke with my Dad’s hospice nurse taking care of me and felt even more like an idiot.

I think tomorrow I’ll go for a nice long walk around the Snake River to catch my breath. I truly am grateful for life and for all these experiences that help us to grow and become better people.