Ready to fight

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Our morning started with a phone call from the oncologists office, asking that we come to Jan’s appointment at 10:30am rather that 6pm. We all got ready and Danny and I took him in for the appointment.

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When we arrived at the Cancer Center, my heart sunk as I remembered that not very long ago I was there with my Dad. Little did I know that I’d be back so soon…only this time with my sweet brother.

Dr Adams came in to the room and told us so many things, and we asked so many questions. Each answer he gave was another sharp kick to the gut of my already emotionally battered body, and when I asked the question, ‘how long  does he have to live?’ and the answer was, ‘well, if untreated…about 1 month,’ I felt like it drew the last breath out of me.

So here are the cards we have been dealt: The cancer tumors in his brain have got to go because they are severe, damaging and deadly. An MRI was done tonight to determine if they are operable or not, and we should have those results soon. Either way he will need radiation and immunotherapy. Chemo will not help what he has. If they can operate on his brain they will do that ASAP and start radiation a week later. If they can’t operate they will start radiation immediately. Radiation will be administered 10 work days in a row, then a week rest and testing, followed by another 10 work days of radiation etc etc.  With treatment, Jan has 5 months to 2 years to live. Tomorrow morning bright and early we will meet with the Neurosurgeon and tomorrow afternoon with the radiation oncologist. On Thursday we meet with his diabetes doctor and he’ll have a 2 hour long PET scan of his head and body so we can see where all his cancer has spread to. On Monday we’ll be back in the oncologists office once again.

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A new normal has begun, which includes giving him shots and oral meds all through the day and night, standing close by to catch him when he falls, and spending lots of time teasing and loving him as we travel back and forth to appointments. I know he would do the same for me. Jan is the most amazing brother any sister could ever ask for.  He has loved and supported me through my uglies as well as my good times, never judging or becoming impatient. He has just loved me. I will dedicate my strength and love to him as we journey through this adventure together.

What I will be praying for is for new advances to be made in treating and curing this awful disease, so that Jan’s 2 years will turn into 20 years, then thirty and forty.  I want to grow old with him so that I can smack him with my cane when he teases me… and just for fun when he doesn’t.

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