What does 4 hours mean to you? To some it may mean a couple good movies. The time it takes from home to church services then home again. A great date night. Half of a work shift. Four hours can fly by or seem endless depending on the task at hand.
For me, 4 hours right now, means that Jan is starting to hurt again and it’s time for me to give him more morphine. My days and nights are lived in 4 hour increments, from one dose of medicine for my sweet brother, to the next. I am so grateful for medication that can relieve the pressure and pain in his head. His tumors are no doubt causing havoc in his beautiful bald head, and I’m so grateful that he is comfortable.
This morning I had a chat with him after kissing his face for a while. My tears flowed freely and I whispered in his ear that Daddy will be coming soon to take his hand, and he must not hesitate. Take his hand and know that all is taken care of here. We will all take care of Mommy, and he can join Daddy in taking care of us all. I told him once again how much I love him and thanked him for being my best friend and incredibly wonderful brother. He understood and whispered back that he loves me.
Embrace your next four hours with passion and gratitude. I know I will, and these minutes and seconds will be replayed in my mind over and over again as long as I live.